You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i dont even know how to be here
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
