He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
