I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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