I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
