I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
babies were throwing up all over the place
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Green mimosas i think yes
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
