I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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