Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
