he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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