Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
