I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
