Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
