i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
