If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We left an ass print on the piano.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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