Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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