people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
