Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
