Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
