she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
