Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
