Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
