My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
