dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
