carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
