margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I want to stick my p in your. b.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
