He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
