I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
