shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
