she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
