sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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