well I can't set my house on fire every night
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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