Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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