I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
ttyl tear gas
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
