Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
