All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
