well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
