Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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