i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
