Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Blow job season was short but glorious.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize