whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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