i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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