Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I can't turn off my feet"
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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