We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
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