So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
