Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
