what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
