We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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