I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
