I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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