nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Rumble strips road head = magical
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
