Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Just puked most of my soul out..
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
