He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
